Take Back the Knit?

Having sent the shrugettes on their merry way to Sacramento, I now am sort of Between Projects. (WIPs? What WIPs?) I, of course, need to get started on the Weasleys (I'm swatching). But I really want to make this, so I'm swatching for that too. And, Lord help me, I'm sorely tempted to join another knitalong, so I'll undoubtedly be swatching for that soon too. And swatches aren't the most exciting blog topic, so I thought this might be a good opportunity for a little affiknitty editorial. (Ahem.)

Lately, in my blogstalking and Knittyboard reading, I've seen some things that make me nostalgic for the old days. Of course, I've only been seriously knitting for about five years, so I wasn't really there for the old days. But I bet the ladies at Meg Swanson's Knitting Camp are longing for the days when the most radical thing a knitter did was knit socks on two circulars.

I saw a thread at the Knitty coffeeshop entitled "Extreme Knitting." There was a warning with the link that said it wasn't for the squeamish. But I thought they were talking about hunter's dayglo orange acrylic! I never actually made it to the page with the extreme knitting, because the first page I landed on contained pictures of body parts and sharp objects that made me feel a little woozy.

And I've heard of and happened across plenty of examples of knitted phalluses and vibrator cozies. I'm a hip mom. Really! I have my own copy of Stitch n' Bitch! I proudly wear my Vote for Pedro t-shirt! But this sort of thing really makes me want to revisit Yarn Harlot's posts about tiny shoes. The only battery-operated thing I might have to cozy is my electric toothbrush. (Note to DH: Still need that i-Pod, honey! Thanks! Mmwahh!) What's next? Free pattern for edible panties using licorice laces? Nope. Already been done.

See, what I love about knitting is the possibility of creating something beautiful, like this. Or this, even though I don't really knit lace. Or something simple, but ingenious, like this. I thought about making some sort of knitting's-a-big-tent-there's-yarn-enough-for-everyone kind of comment, but on second thought, no. If there can be Knitters Against Fun Fur (where can I join up? I'm reformed), then maybe there could be Knitters Against Ugly Smut or similar. I am ready to be the Tipper Gore of knitting. There really ought to be a knitter's equivalent of the Justice League, where you learn the basics, they hand you some tasteful mostly natural fiber, and make you promise to use your Knitting Powers Only For Good. If you're with me, I'll be working on a cover for my kind of bedside companion.